Friday, August 9, 2013

How my wishes have changed....

My oldest calls out, It's 3:33, MAKE A WISH! Every time we do this, I'm immediately transported back to my youth. 

Yes, my oh my how my wishes have changed over the years. And I'm not talking about the actual wishes changing. They were always the same wish- a child. I'm talking about how the wording of a wish has changed over the years. 

This is how it went down starting 10 years ago when I got married, to now. It's all about the specifics now-

* I wish for a baby. 

* I wish for a baby this year.

* I wish for a LIVING baby this year. 

* I wish for a LIVING baby this year, that lives a long time. 

* I wish for a LIVING baby from my husband and I, this year, that lives a long time.

* I wish for a baby from my husband and I, this year, that is born full term after an uncomplicated pregnancy, and lives a long life. 

* I wish for a baby from my husband and I, this year, that is born full term after an uncomplicated pregnancy, that has a happy and healthy long life. 

* I wish for a second baby from my husband and I, that is born full term after an uncomplicated pregnancy, that has a happy and healthy long life, and gets along with his/her brother-then I say really quickly- also that my husband is happy and healthy and lives a long life. (Try getting that all in before the clock ticks 3:34 or before a candle is blown out or a shooting star is too far gone from sight/memory)

I've been granted some of these wishes (so far) except I left out something.... details about ME. I assumed the other things would bring me whatever health and happiness I desired. Which it has for the most part. But if our struggle has taught me anything, it's that I am not exempt from the tragedies of life. I am not special. I do not get a FREE PASS, ever. This has been especially apparent now that I have these scary health issues looming, after everything I have done to get my family over the last 8 years, So now I find myself wishing the following:

* I wish for me and my entire family to live long, happy, healthy, prosperous lives and that we get along and love each other for our entire lives. In fact, I wish that for everyone. And give babies to all the women who want one, unless they do drugs or will be unfit mothers....

I USUALLY stop there, and thank my lucky stars that I'm not actually in charge of the mess that is this world.

That's not too much to ask the wish fairy, is it? Has anyone else's wish wording changed over the years? Is it ridiculous to do that? I tried to stop but just couldn't, I swear ;-)


  1. It's funny how infertility can change our wishes over the years. My wishes have changed from wishing for a big family with my husband to wishing for just one, healthy baby. If that's all that God gives me, I'll be thankful. It makes me sad that we will probably not have more than one child at this point but I'll be thankful and I'll love on that child, like no other.

  2. I like your wishes and it got me thinking about my own wishing timeline. In my early 30's my wishing was for a loving man I could make my husband and thankfully that one came through but for many years I thought it wouldn't. Then of course wishing for children, then child, then just the ability to recover from this journey as a whole I am wishing for a child still but the wish has moved to a more general wish for a family not for a biological child and also wishing for health and happiness. In trying to deal with RPL I learned to meditate and there's a wish that you send out into the world that I really like, sometimes I send it out when I am driving to work and people are being unkind on the road :). The wish is to wish for all beings "happiness and the root of happiness" which I understand to mean the ability to be happy inside ourselves regardless of the tragedy of life, which no matter what we do will still keep coming. It always makes me feel better to send that wish out into the world.

  3. Jennifer, beautifully said. I love it. Thank you again for commenting. Always heartfelt, raw, real, and something we can relate to. Thinking of you :-)

  4. Just saying "Hi!", and yes, my wishes did change too, many many times...


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